I don't remember exactly how old I was, probably around 13 or 14. For some reasons I had around 10 pounds (or at least the old pre-Euros French equivalent of it) with me (maybe my parents had given the money to me as a rewards for good marks at school) and I decided that I would buy some music. So, I was heading to the local music store, wanting to buy myself an audio cassette.
I entered in the store and the black shop-keeper glanced at me. I wasn't looking like the kind of kid whom would steal something (not that I wasn't capable of) so he quickly came back to whatever he was doing. I wandered around the store and quickly came across a dilemma. Should I buy the kind of music that people in my (black) neighbourhood would buy (mostly to try and fit in), or should I go for that thing I had heard once, that music where people use electric guitars in ways that the Heavens would certainly not approve of. It didn't take long for me to decide the latter, but this moment (this very moment in that very shop) will always remain as one of the most defining moments of my life: the first and earliest moment I decided that I would be what I want to be, and not what my surroundings would expect me to be, and in this case that I would listen to the music that I want to listen to, even if it meant that I would be the only person I knew who might listen to this. This implied social isolation as I would never be able to share my earphones with anybody else, but I knew deep inside me that being myself was more important than any reasons I might find not to be, and in fact, thinking of it, the idea of "fitting in", felt more and more distasteful to me as the seconds passed in my mind.
I grabbed a cassette and headed to the counter.
The shopkeeper looked at what had put on the counter and then looked at me in a way which put in words would have sounded like "I should probably report you to the police for buying something like this, above all that it looks like you are buying it for yourself and not for one of your white friend's birthday". I knew instantly that I had just done something right. The guy disapproved my choice! Life would be awesome :-)
The albumn I had grabbed was "Pornograffitti", by a group called Extreme. And, for a long time "Suzi (Wants Her All Day What?)" was my favourite track... (despite the fact that I couldn't speak one word of English at the time).
Later on, my love story with metal carried on and never died. Icons of my musical journey are given as
- Metallica: ...And Justice for All
- Nightwish: I wish I had an Angel
- Space Metal (Star One): Intergalactic Space Crusaders
And despite the fact that you will find me nowadays listening to Hard Trance or Uplifting Trance ( Rapha - Pandora (Daniel Kandi's Emotional Mix) Full & HQ ), Epic soundtracks ( Epic Songs ) or just pure plain Japanese awesomeness ( Sentou Yousei Yukikaze AMV Move - DOGFIGHT ), I will never ever forget where I come from... Because it's not only about the music. It's about me having learnt, all by myself, many years ago, to say "Screw society, I'll be what I want to be!".