This blog is highly personal, makes no attempt at being politically correct, will occasionaly offend your sensibility, and certainly does not represent the opinions of the people I work with or for.
Multi Girl-Friends Management
avatar
Multi Girl-Friends Management

There is a weblog entry that Aubrey has been asking me to write for a while about multi girl friends management. She has always been curious about how I could go out with several girl friends at the same time (as it happened to me too often back when I was still young and stupid innocent). So as a world wide premiere, this is how graph theory can help you manage your love life. Note that this entry is written from a boy's point of view, but it also works if we switch genders.

This entry comes without warranty, the author should not be hold responsible for problems arising in your life if you follow the method hereby presented.

The Prime Directive underlying the theory is that, after all, you are not a bad person and even though you would like a sustainable and scalable method to have as many partners as possible, you also want to minimize the number of times that you lie per unit of time.

So at a starting point you have one girl friend, we will call her GF1. This situation is represented by the following graph.





Then another girl, we will call her GF2, comes along. We will assume that GF1 and GF2 do not know each other and that GF2 doesn't ask any question, maybe because she already goes out with another guy (in such case, very often your relationship with GF2 is only based on sex, which makes things simplier). In that case you start going out with GF2 and never tell GF1 and GF2 about each other. The situation is now





Then another girl, we will call her GF3, comes along. In this case will will assume that GF3 knows that you are already going out with GF1, and maybe GF3 and GF1 know each other. In this case you tell GF3 that you really like her, but you don't want to hurt GF1 who still loves you. You turn GF3 into your new best friend, and at the same time you sleep with her. The fact that GF3 knows about you and GF1 will be represented by an arrow coming from GF3 to GF1 as follows





Having GF3 know everything facilitate things. When you want a date with GF3 and GF1 ask questions, you have to lie to GF1, but when you want a date with GF1 you can tell GF3 the truth. This ensure that we work toward Prime Directive.

Now GF4_a comes along, and now a bit of analysis is needed. There are several School of Thoughts, but I recommend starting from GF1 and walking reverse of the arrows, you have to find the first girl that GF4_a doesn't know. We assume that GF4_a doesn't know GF1. In that case it depends how much of time would GF4_a want to spend time with you. If GF4_a wants to see you only once in a while you consider GF4_a as GF2, as follow





Now we consider GF4_b, who doesn't initially know GF1 but want to spend more time with you. In that case you have to tell GF4_b about GF1 but also add that you are actually in the process of splitting with GF1 (unless GF4_b doesn't care, maybe because GF4_b is married), In that case we have





Now we consider GF4_c, who know about GF1 and also (walking backward to the arrays) GF3. In that case you tell GF4_c about GF1 and GF3 and you plug GF4_c after GF3, as follows





So now this is were the tricky part comes: GF4_c has to become your new best friend, and you can tell her secret things about GF3 to make her (GF4_c) fell special. Note that the blue link relationship is transitive, this means that GF4_c also knows about GF1, so you should also tell GF4_c secrets about GF1.

Now comes GF5. We assume that starting from GF1, GF5 knows GF1 and GF3 but not GF4_c, in that case we plug GF5 as follows





Now, comes a little complication. GF3 wants to break up with you. You do not mind, but you do such that GF3 doesn't tell GF1 (otherwise GF1 will break up with you as well). There are various techniques to ensure that GF3 doesn't tell GF1 (I will cover this in another weblog entry...). End up with





Now come another tricky part. You discover that GF4_c and GF5 love you more than you think, and they think that now that GF3 has gone, and that the long waited split with GF1 should be about to complete, you should have them as primary girl friend, are thinking of moving over to your place.





What you need here, is a good reason to postpone their thoughts. Here we introduce the "Too Much Work" node.





[TMW] allows you to stay with GF4_c and GF5 but without them to bug you about moving over to live with them. Note that now that TMW is around you can move links around for instance migrating the link from GF4_b to GF1 to TMW





Then we consider a new case by which GF6 comes along and happen to know both GF4_c and GF5. You would be tempted to do as follow





But this would work, only if one single condition is true: GF6 is a bitch who actually does the same thing with her boy friends as follows





You can also meet a case when a new girl GF7 comes along and is bisexual. Then you can easily end up in the very interesting following situation (^.^)





Note that in this last picture, the blue links inside GF7's world are from GF7's point of view, which is different from the blue linking in your world. For instance in GF7's world, GF6 doesn't know that GF5 is another girl friend of GF7, but in your world, GF6 knows that GF5 is another of your girl friends....

Note that GF7 is also more clever than you, because her graph has got less blue links and that she has used the "Too Much Work" node less often than you :-)
[ add a comment ]

Archives